Dior Skinflash changed my life

a while back my friend alexis mentioned that she used a fancy little brightening product by Dior under her eyes and i was intrigued...first, she is in no way the super girlie make-up type, so i was even more fascinated that she had Dior! and whats more is that she was gushing about it, saying how good it was, that her boyfriend even noticed, and that she swears by it, despite its slightly extravagant price. clearly, i had to find out what the fuss was about.

this stuff is amazing, have no doubt! its not too heavy or thick, the applicator brush is perfect for applying and it gives good coverage and looks bright and fresh! i wear it alone or over a bit of concealer. it comes in 3 different shades, and it blends really nicely, doesn't show fine lines and sets really nicely, but not drying at all! it's a bit pricey, but so far its lasted me a good while, so i say, just do it!!

the definition of a hot mess

if you ever wondered what exactly a 'hot mess' really was, look no further. lil' kim looks like a sweaty sausage squished into a 'trashy hooker barbie' outfit. and don't even get me started on that nasty weave and miss piggy make-up. people please, do not try this at home.

Dreamboat du Jour: Kid Cudi

so hot i had to post 2 pics. shitttt....i am stupid for kid cudi.

putting the style back in teen pregnancy

oh forever 21, so cute. market your cheap tacky clothes to pregnant teens exclusively in states that have the highest teen pregnancy rates. and then deny it. faboosh.
click here for the full article

Home Sweet Home

for some people home is a white picket fence, a dog in the yard, 3 screaming children, and a husband staying late at the office again (read: going to the strip club to spend the family savings). for those of us who haven't been lobotomized or heavily medicated, home looks slightly different. as i prepare to pick up and leave, i'm taking a moment to reflect on some of the things that make this home to me: my stylist, tailor and shoemaker, etc...sigh.

so, to pay homage to the great city of montreal and my impending departure from it, i'm showcasing some of my favourite service providers (aka the secret to a femme's urban success):

Ongles Kim- 1904 Ste-Catherine W (btwn St Marc and du Fort)- this is my fave cheap nail shop in the city. i've been going to them for years. they're nice, they're good, they're clean, 'nuff said.

Elite Laser- 1359 Greene (in Westmount btwn Sherbrooke and Maisonneuve)- if you can deal with venturing into westmount (ya, it ain't pretty), this place is well worth the discomfort (in all senses). these goddesses have every laser i the book, though i can really only speak to their laser hair removal. oh, and of course they also have pam, the wonder of an electrolysis lady. check 'em out and tell them i sent you, they love me (how could they not, i've spent the equivalent of the GDP of a small country there).

Le Tailleur- 1331 Ontario E (btwn Panet and de la Visitation)- best tailor in the damn city. he's super nice, cheap and always does an amazing job, even with the most complicated alterations.

Cordonnerie Micho- 4631 Papineau (just north of Mont-Royal)- my friend tatiana just recently introduced me to this guy, aka the greatest shoe repair in the city. he fixed a pair of boots that i had long ago given up on and sat shiva for. well, i might be a catholic now, cause its easter and my boots have been resurrected!!!

Dreamboat du Jour: Tahar Rahim

the sexy french/algerian star of jacques audiard's a prophet...hello habibi!

Last Night's Adventure: Ghetto DIY French Manicure

yesterday i acquired one of those nail polish pens and decided to embark upon an adventure called 'ghetto diy french manicure.' after being on-call for work for a total of 48 hours this weekend, what else was there to do? no type of intoxication is permitted while on call :( so i made the best of my sunday evening. plus, i figured, why not try that whole 'living within your means' thing and stop wasting all the money i don't have at the nail salon.

now, the main problem (other than my complete ineptitude as a manicurist) had to do with the fact that the nail polish pen i bought- nic's sticks by OPI was sub-par. the bristles were crappy and allowed for little to no accuracy in drawing a line. also, the light pink i used to coat my whole nail is slightly too pink and has sullied my white tips.

tomorrow i plan to return to the store and get my damn money back for that piece of crap nail pen. but the rest is all me. maybe next time i will take an extra 90 seconds to use 'the google' and realize that most of the free world has already reviewed the pen and decided it sucks. maybe one day i will acquire some manual dexterity. sadly though, none of this will change the fact that this mission has been a total failure, but hey, at least i have something to blog about, right?

Nas and Damian Marley: Distant Relatives

i've spent a good part of the weekend getting to know this album, so i can tell you with good authority that it is divine. at once soft and tough, conscious and sexy, this afrocentric reggae-flavoured project is easy to listen to and will def enhance your summer listening. get on it.

Tipping in Beauty Land

i thought i might take a minute to discuss tipping because i don't think its ever properly addressed, in the beauty world, that is. in terms of restaurants 15% is generally an accepted percentage that most of us adhere to, but what about salons and other grooming services? here's what i think:

- tipping is for good service. 15% is a minimum, but i often tip a lot more. i don't like to fiddle around with coins in these scenarios, so i tend to tip in denominations of 5$.

- if you didn't like the service, you don't have to leave a good tip! or for that matter, one at all. however, in such cases, i am usually honest and vocal with the person about what displeased me. and of course, i don't intend to return to the establishment.

- good tipping is an excellent way to build a relationship with your stylist/manicurist/esthetician. you're happy with the service, you leave a good tip, they're happy with their tip, they continue to give you good service. its a beautiful little circle.

- remember to tip the shampoo girl in addition to your stylist (she works hard too!). also, if 2 different ladies do your mani and pedi, be sure to tip each of them individually.

- if you receive a free service i.e. bang trim or nail touch-up, i highly recommend leaving at least a few dollars to show that you are appreciative. you do as you will, but i think its kind and considerate, and again, builds relationship!! the more they like you, the more they are going to care about your hair/nails/brazilian wax ;)

- in my opinion, if you tip well all year long you are in no way obligated to gift around any particular holiday, unless you so choose.

- there are certain settings in which tips are not required, or are downright inappropriate. in my very humble opinion, these are medical or clinical type settings in which the services you receive are from a professional, i.e. registered massage therapist, electrologist, laser hair removal tech. however, please feel free to comment if you disagree!

Badass Feminist Femme du Jour: Feminist Frequency

thanks an amazing sister of mine, amy miller, i have had the pleasure of discovering Feminist Frequency!!! her commentary on women in pop culture is right-on, she is so very eloquent, and i can't get enough of her subtle/sexy lip piercing! you can also catch her on youtube as well as twitter. (wtf is twitter anyways?!?)

Fit for the Pit: L'Oréal Telescopic Explosion Masacara

alright, i've given this stuff many chances over several weeks. i'm finished. its clumpy, awkward, and my lashes don't look particularly long or defined, by any means. who decided that a regular mascara wand was no longer sufficient? its nonsense! this stuff is a sham! there, i said it.

now in the spirit of 1992 i cast it into the fiery pit, but by all means, you can do what you choose. just don't come crying to me when you've poked yourself in the eye with a goopy, spiked, rubbery sphere. ya, that won't be embarrassing at all.

Summertime Advice: Wear Sunscreen

put on some sunscreen, puh-lease. skin cancer isn't a good look. i won't harass you with scary statistics, but come on, we all know that skin cancer among young women is at an all-time high and that our likelihood of developing it is increased with more frequent sun exposure, sunburns and use of tanning beds (ewwwwwww!).

a lot of moisturizers come with spf 15 in them these days, so thats nice, but if you'll be exposed for long periods of time its best to put something stronger on your face and all over, really. also remember, any scars should be well protected at all times (i opt for 55, just to be safe) as any sun damage can cause them to get worse or stop healing properly. not to mention that sun damage causes skin to age prematurely...you don't want to look like a hag, do you???

if you're anything like me though, you are revolted by the greasy, disgusting feeling of sunscreen, but i found this neutrogena stuff (pictured above) that is fantastically matte and comfortable to wear. so find something you can tolerate and put it on, lest you come to pay for it dearly in the future...

Dreamboat du Jour: Q-Tip

a classic. i have been all about this one for more than a decade...so dreamy.

Erykah Badu- Window Seat

did anyone notice this song in the sex and the city 2 movie? anyways, it came out a couple months ago, the first official single off her new album, New Amerykah Part Two (Return of the Ankh). its really lovely. and the video is curious. its shot in dallas at the spot where jfk was shot, and badu was charged with disorderly conduct for it. enjoy.

new mani!!

i just got this crazy mani today! hand painted by jfancy. if you're in montreal you should hit her up, she'll do any design you want for cheap! so much fun!

Smile

when you walk around with a grimace on your face you are polluting the city with your grumpiness. maybe you aren't having the best day/week/year of your life, but really, is walking around with this miserable look on your face doing anything to help? maybe you aren't even aware of what your face looks like to the rest of us, but trust, walking around looking at a bunch of scowls is unpleasant.
city life can be isolating, cold and unfriendly. so just try to put a wee little smile on your face. it will lighten up the urban drab, it might make someone's day, and who knows, it could just make you feel better...

Say no to Jeggings

are you aware of this phenomenon? its been brewing for a while now, and for a long time i was hoping it would just fade away. but alas, jeggings have become a full-on, raging epidemic. they have migrated from hoochie stores all the way across the fashion spectrum. you can find them at any price point in almost every women's clothing store. its a travesty of modern times.

jeggings are a hybrid of jeans and leggings. they are very stretchy and tight, like leggings, but bear either the imprint or actual stitching of jeans (pockets, seams, and/or zipper and button). think hoochie mama from the '80s/j-lo's turn of the millenium ghetto fab revival. they're in the same category as stiletto timberlands, belly shirts and excessive gold jewelry; great for a chuckle or a hip hop music video, not so great for your outfit today.

no one in jeggings is taken seriously. leggings push the limit enough, but jeggings go right over the edge. they are trashtastic. on the rare occasion they look good on someone, its usually a celebrity or someone else who has zero grounding in reality (read: rihanna or music video chick). the rest of us are bound to the earthly rules of style and as such, we are forced to choose between either jeans or leggings. sad but true.

No Muffin Top

it's not okay. wear a size bigger. wear a longer shirt. wear a less tight fitting shirt. there is no excuse for muffin top. need more be said?

SATC 2

have you seen this yet? i, of course, saw it on opening nite. the only reason i wasn't sorely disappointed was because i dialed my expectations way down a while ago. listen, by most standards of decency this movie stinks. i won't even bother trying to describe the hideosity and just leave it to the critics:

"Thanks to writer-director Michael Patrick King, I now have a fair idea how it might feel to be stoned to death with scented candles." -The Chicago Reader

"Remember the old, boundary-breaking, taboo-toppling Sex and the City? Forget it. Neither sex nor the city plays any role in this film." -Newsweek

"The ugly smell of unexamined privilege hangs over this film like the smoke from cheap incense." -The New York Times

"An enervated, crass and gruesomely caricatured trip to nowhere [that] seems conceived primarily to find new and more cynical ways to abuse the loyalty of its audience." -The Washington Post

that being said, it doesn't matter. this movie is amazing and you must see it! the fashion will blow your mind. it is unparalleled. not to mention the gorgeous apartments, hotels, planes, and oh ya, the 4 white maybachs. and of course, where else would you get to hear the line "Lawrence of my Labia"???

Dreamboat du Jour: Amber Rose

damn.

Janelle Monáe: The ArchAndroid

this woman is amazing. this album will change your life. i can't stop listening to it! enjoy!!

No More Backpacks.

for the love of all things decent, i am asking you to stop carrying a backpack. i know you're gonna try to tell me that its convenient and fits a lot of stuff and is better for your back, but i think you're full of shit. i think that if you're no longer in grade 6, then you have no business carrying a backpack.

backpacks are hideously unstylish. i know that sometimes, people opt for function over style (though honestly, i still don't get it), but this is not one of those cases. the damn things make me cringe. i beg of you, get yourself a nice leather shoulder bag, carry your papers, lunch or running shoes in a tree-friendly canvas bag, or you can even carry a messenger bag for heaven's sake. but please, burn your backpack. or alternatively, you can give it to your 10-year-old niece.

Dreamboat du Jour: Sean Paul with a mohawk!!

seriously? why am i 5 minutes behind on everything? sean paul has done away with his braids and is now sporting this sexy new mohawk. i'm dying.

Moroccan Oil??

just so y'all know, i rarely go looking for new products. my house is overflowing with lotions, potions, and every magical beauty solution around...i don't need anything more. but alas, it seems as though products are trying to find me, because despite my best efforts, i am constantly acquiring new stuff.

Well, apparently Moroccan Oil has my number, because everywhere i look lately, there it is; in magazines, salons, and even on random acquaintances' bathroom counters. this stuff claims to be the miracle hair solution and through a few different incarnations (oil, styling cream, mask, shampoo, etc.) it promises to hydrate, restore, add shine, and blah blah blah. so fine, you win moroccan oil! i am going out this afternoon to buy you (as long as work doesn't call me in) and give you a whirl. results in soon...

UPDATE: after a few uses, i can confirm to you that this stuff is pretty damn special. my hair is noticeably softer with just a little bit of oil applied to freshly washed wet hair. i have yet to try the styling cream, but will, of course, keep y'all in the loop.

The Heifer with an attitude at the grocery store

disclaimer: i really try to be as nice as i can, and for a recovering hater, this can sometimes take a concerted effort. nonetheless, i do my best to put as much love out there as possible. some days, however, people cross the line and all my best efforts go out the window. today was one of those days.

this evening i ran into an old friend at the grocery store. lets just say its been a real long time and things didn't end well. in any case, i glanced up and saw her walking towards me, so i decided to smile, you know, cause why not just be nice, right? well i guess she missed the memo, cause all i got was a snarl. well i'm sorry, but damn honey, that attitude didn't look good on you back in the day and it sure don't look any better now that you've put on 20 pounds...just sayin'

Put on a Dress!

it will make you feel good! i promise. the sun is shining and the air is warm, so throw on a summer frock and get out there! you can even wear it with your converse, who cares, as long as you get that happy, girly, breezy feeling. don't get all self conscious on me and start whining about your legs or saying that its not your style...just put it on and feel pretty, damnit!

the dress pictured above is the perfect inspiration for you. its freakin' adorable and only $19.95 at H&M as part of The Garden Collection. seriously. i wore it on my birthday and i felt like a million bucks. case in point.

Dreamboat du Jour: Robin Thicke

Hose Me Down.

your eyebrows are important

there are all sorts of theories regarding the function of eyebrows, but they are irrelevant. trust me. it doesn't really matter that they keep sweat and dirt out of your eyes. what you need to know is that eyebrows are one of the most important features on your face. bad eyebrows will make you look UGLY. bad eyebrows include: too thin, too short, wildly uneven, badly penciled, and everyone's favourite, the unibrow.

take a moment, look in the mirror, and be honest with yourself. then go get them fixed up. once they are perfected by a professional you can maintain them on your own for months. i firmly believe that investing a bit of cash in your eyebrows a few times a year is indispensable. may i suggest a few good spots?

www.eyebrowstodiefor.com - this was hands down the best eye brow job (har har) i ever had. if you live in san fran you are damn lucky and should head there immediately. the rest of us should be looking into plane tickets.

www.thebrowhouse.com - for the torontonians. i never actually got mine done here, but i accompanied a dear friend of mine and they did an amazing job. you can also buy a package deal for several appointments over a period of time. invest. you won't regret.

www.spaeuforia.com - ok, this salon is kinda whatever, but the esthetician, samantha, is a brow genius. she only tweezes (no waxing!!) and i cannot say enough good things about her.

www.indopaksalon.com - any femme worth her salt knows that threading is where it's at. the south asian woman know what's up and they charge mere pennies for it. many trustworthy women tell me this place is excellent, though i have not yet been myself (i'm stuck on samantha right now). really though, wherever you are, just find an indian or pakistani salon and walk in. i wouldn't normally trust just anyone with my brows, but south asian women are eyebrow experts.

why i hate to love Nicki

nicki minaj is an over the top, obnoxious, self proclaimed barbie. but i can't get enough of her. a friend of mine once described her as the female lil' wayne. 'nuff said. she is a train wreck and i can't stop gawking. youtube is flooded with videos of her making an ass of herself. only about a quarter of her tracks are worth listening too, the rest are cheesy or just plain boring. but despite all that, the girl's got swag...

she doesn't seem to give a shit, she'll wear anything, say whatever, her ass is fat and her face is gorgeous. she can dress up, dress down and pull off any colour wig you can imagine. she's featured on luda's my chick bad and frankly, i love it. her track up out my face with mariah carey (one of my all-time favourite guilty pleasures, btw) is cheesy velveeta goodness. so, for just a moment, put aside your feelings about young money, the future of today's youth, hell, even common decency, and just indulge in all that is nicki...