SATC 2

have you seen this yet? i, of course, saw it on opening nite. the only reason i wasn't sorely disappointed was because i dialed my expectations way down a while ago. listen, by most standards of decency this movie stinks. i won't even bother trying to describe the hideosity and just leave it to the critics:

"Thanks to writer-director Michael Patrick King, I now have a fair idea how it might feel to be stoned to death with scented candles." -The Chicago Reader

"Remember the old, boundary-breaking, taboo-toppling Sex and the City? Forget it. Neither sex nor the city plays any role in this film." -Newsweek

"The ugly smell of unexamined privilege hangs over this film like the smoke from cheap incense." -The New York Times

"An enervated, crass and gruesomely caricatured trip to nowhere [that] seems conceived primarily to find new and more cynical ways to abuse the loyalty of its audience." -The Washington Post

that being said, it doesn't matter. this movie is amazing and you must see it! the fashion will blow your mind. it is unparalleled. not to mention the gorgeous apartments, hotels, planes, and oh ya, the 4 white maybachs. and of course, where else would you get to hear the line "Lawrence of my Labia"???

Dreamboat du Jour: Amber Rose

damn.

Janelle Monáe: The ArchAndroid

this woman is amazing. this album will change your life. i can't stop listening to it! enjoy!!

No More Backpacks.

for the love of all things decent, i am asking you to stop carrying a backpack. i know you're gonna try to tell me that its convenient and fits a lot of stuff and is better for your back, but i think you're full of shit. i think that if you're no longer in grade 6, then you have no business carrying a backpack.

backpacks are hideously unstylish. i know that sometimes, people opt for function over style (though honestly, i still don't get it), but this is not one of those cases. the damn things make me cringe. i beg of you, get yourself a nice leather shoulder bag, carry your papers, lunch or running shoes in a tree-friendly canvas bag, or you can even carry a messenger bag for heaven's sake. but please, burn your backpack. or alternatively, you can give it to your 10-year-old niece.

Dreamboat du Jour: Sean Paul with a mohawk!!

seriously? why am i 5 minutes behind on everything? sean paul has done away with his braids and is now sporting this sexy new mohawk. i'm dying.

Moroccan Oil??

just so y'all know, i rarely go looking for new products. my house is overflowing with lotions, potions, and every magical beauty solution around...i don't need anything more. but alas, it seems as though products are trying to find me, because despite my best efforts, i am constantly acquiring new stuff.

Well, apparently Moroccan Oil has my number, because everywhere i look lately, there it is; in magazines, salons, and even on random acquaintances' bathroom counters. this stuff claims to be the miracle hair solution and through a few different incarnations (oil, styling cream, mask, shampoo, etc.) it promises to hydrate, restore, add shine, and blah blah blah. so fine, you win moroccan oil! i am going out this afternoon to buy you (as long as work doesn't call me in) and give you a whirl. results in soon...

UPDATE: after a few uses, i can confirm to you that this stuff is pretty damn special. my hair is noticeably softer with just a little bit of oil applied to freshly washed wet hair. i have yet to try the styling cream, but will, of course, keep y'all in the loop.

The Heifer with an attitude at the grocery store

disclaimer: i really try to be as nice as i can, and for a recovering hater, this can sometimes take a concerted effort. nonetheless, i do my best to put as much love out there as possible. some days, however, people cross the line and all my best efforts go out the window. today was one of those days.

this evening i ran into an old friend at the grocery store. lets just say its been a real long time and things didn't end well. in any case, i glanced up and saw her walking towards me, so i decided to smile, you know, cause why not just be nice, right? well i guess she missed the memo, cause all i got was a snarl. well i'm sorry, but damn honey, that attitude didn't look good on you back in the day and it sure don't look any better now that you've put on 20 pounds...just sayin'

Put on a Dress!

it will make you feel good! i promise. the sun is shining and the air is warm, so throw on a summer frock and get out there! you can even wear it with your converse, who cares, as long as you get that happy, girly, breezy feeling. don't get all self conscious on me and start whining about your legs or saying that its not your style...just put it on and feel pretty, damnit!

the dress pictured above is the perfect inspiration for you. its freakin' adorable and only $19.95 at H&M as part of The Garden Collection. seriously. i wore it on my birthday and i felt like a million bucks. case in point.

Dreamboat du Jour: Robin Thicke

Hose Me Down.

your eyebrows are important

there are all sorts of theories regarding the function of eyebrows, but they are irrelevant. trust me. it doesn't really matter that they keep sweat and dirt out of your eyes. what you need to know is that eyebrows are one of the most important features on your face. bad eyebrows will make you look UGLY. bad eyebrows include: too thin, too short, wildly uneven, badly penciled, and everyone's favourite, the unibrow.

take a moment, look in the mirror, and be honest with yourself. then go get them fixed up. once they are perfected by a professional you can maintain them on your own for months. i firmly believe that investing a bit of cash in your eyebrows a few times a year is indispensable. may i suggest a few good spots?

www.eyebrowstodiefor.com - this was hands down the best eye brow job (har har) i ever had. if you live in san fran you are damn lucky and should head there immediately. the rest of us should be looking into plane tickets.

www.thebrowhouse.com - for the torontonians. i never actually got mine done here, but i accompanied a dear friend of mine and they did an amazing job. you can also buy a package deal for several appointments over a period of time. invest. you won't regret.

www.spaeuforia.com - ok, this salon is kinda whatever, but the esthetician, samantha, is a brow genius. she only tweezes (no waxing!!) and i cannot say enough good things about her.

www.indopaksalon.com - any femme worth her salt knows that threading is where it's at. the south asian woman know what's up and they charge mere pennies for it. many trustworthy women tell me this place is excellent, though i have not yet been myself (i'm stuck on samantha right now). really though, wherever you are, just find an indian or pakistani salon and walk in. i wouldn't normally trust just anyone with my brows, but south asian women are eyebrow experts.

why i hate to love Nicki

nicki minaj is an over the top, obnoxious, self proclaimed barbie. but i can't get enough of her. a friend of mine once described her as the female lil' wayne. 'nuff said. she is a train wreck and i can't stop gawking. youtube is flooded with videos of her making an ass of herself. only about a quarter of her tracks are worth listening too, the rest are cheesy or just plain boring. but despite all that, the girl's got swag...

she doesn't seem to give a shit, she'll wear anything, say whatever, her ass is fat and her face is gorgeous. she can dress up, dress down and pull off any colour wig you can imagine. she's featured on luda's my chick bad and frankly, i love it. her track up out my face with mariah carey (one of my all-time favourite guilty pleasures, btw) is cheesy velveeta goodness. so, for just a moment, put aside your feelings about young money, the future of today's youth, hell, even common decency, and just indulge in all that is nicki...